Three weeks after the well ran dry, I fed a man to the hogs.
The kitchen faucet drip had stopped. It had been a metronome companion, marking
solitary kitchen chores, mending, morning coffee. I held the empty kettle, twisting both knobs.
The tap spat, then nothing. I listened to a faint hiss where there should have been water.
The well was dry.
I’d been alone the whole time Sawyer was away. I’d kept up our place. The animals were
healthy. I had sows with piglets to sell. There were no weeds in the garden. I’d done the repairs
just like he would’ve if he hadn’t been on the state corrections road crew, saying “yes, sir,” and
“no, sir,” to guards who thought he was lower than the dirt on their boots.
A big red X on the Sears calendar marked every day for four years. January this year, I
flipped almost to the back of the new calendar and drew a big red circle around Sawyer’s coming
home day. Back then, I counted months until the circle.
The well was dry. Sawyer’s voice told me to call a man out. I could mend fences,
unsqueak hinges, put up a season’s worth of canning, but I could not find water on my own. I
could not dig a new well.
I called a man out who could find water for cheap, dig a new well. He was passing
through on his way west. He was guaranteed to bring back the watery pulse of sound in the
kitchen until Sawyer would come home and fill the room with a voice in my ear saying, “I’ve
missed you, my girl.” He’d never have to say “yes, sir,” or “no, sir,” again.
For three weeks I waited for the well man. I drove the Ford into town to buy water. I
filled the bed with five-gallon jugs, drove home slowly on the rutted dirt roads. I conserved
water. I stood in the tub and bathed with a teacup and water heated in the kettle. I told the
vegetables to drink slowly, sending them thoughts of soaking deluges after the well man came. I
told the hogs to drink slowly, letting them drink their fill. I stroked the dog’s fur, whispering that
I would walk into town barefoot and carry water by hand if she wanted more.
When the well man arrived at sunrise, there were only two red Xs left to draw on the
Sears calendar. The man had a horse in a dented trailer. I was on the porch with the dog. He led
the horse into the dirt of the yard, called out that he spoke to God through the horse. God showed
the horse water, and the well man would dig the following day. The dog whined.
The man yelled into the horse’s ear. He slapped her face with a forked branch, an old
west divining rod. The horse’s eyes bulged, showing their whites. She didn’t move. “God,” the
man bellowed into the horse’s other ear. “God directs you to water!” He slapped her face again,
barking, “God shows you water!”
The horse was still until she was not. She stepped away from the man who was
brandishing his rod, looking skyward. In a breath, the horse’s back leg struck out. The man fell,
exhaling his God in a furious rush of air as he landed in the dirt. Neither moved. The man’s
forehead was a deep, crushed crater. The dog and I backed into the house. I inhaled, exhaled,
watching the man and the horse through the screen door for an eternity. The man was still.
I couldn’t drop this in Sawyer’s lap. He couldn’t know there was any more trouble than
driving into town when the well ran dry. I couldn’t let him come home to a dead drifter, a pack
of lawmen sniffing around our property who’d look down on him when he’s a free man.
Everyone in the county already knew he’d been away. I had secrets on this land, too.
The horse walked toward the house, stopping at the porch. She knickered, tossed her
head, blinked at me. I was not afraid. I stepped onto the porch, extended my palm, crooned small
noises to say I have a different God, now you do too. She sniffed my palm. I stroked her
forehead, whispering, “I will be the one to find the water now.”
I led the horse into the barn, thankful for the empty stall Sawyer always said he’d use one
day. I stroked her nose again, didn’t think of the extra water I’d need. The hogs grunted as I
passed. I was grateful the well man had arrived before breakfast.
I’d kept Sawyer’s ax sharpened, kept the woodstove going for four winters by myself. I’d
gotten good at cutting pieces to fit the stove. The hogs would be like the hungry woodstove that
disappears my labors into smoke, heat, ash.
I took my dress off. There wasn’t enough water to wash this away until I went to town
again. I could burn my underthings when I was done. The ax was light in my hand, fierce and
focused. I did not stop. I had Sawyer’s coming home day to think about.
I was splattered, half-naked, sweating with the exertion reserved for filling woodstoves or
bellies. The hogs will not be hungry for dinner. I will give them extra water tonight, and I will
not tell them to drink slowly. Now, I would walk barefoot into town and carry water by hand if
they wanted more.
I drove the well man’s truck into the barn. He was only passing through. I will know
what to do with it before Sawyer comes home. The animals do not have the language to say the
well man was here. The well man and I will keep this one a secret.
Originally published by Barren Magazine Issue #6 2019
TJ Butler is a writer and photographer who lives on a sailboat with her husband and dog. She is the author of the short story collection "Dating Silky Maxwell." (ELJ Editions December 2023) Connect with her and learn more about the collection at https://www.tjbutlerauthor.com/
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